Contemplating stability
“Why don’t you just get a job?” People ask me this all of the time. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a steady income, have a roof over your head, and know what you’re going to be doing everyday?” Well, sure, that would be nice…
It would be nice to have a little stability in my life. To know that everything will be ok. To know where I’m going to sleep. To know what I’m going to eat. To know what I’m supposed to do.
That would be nice. But man, that sounds boring.
I’ve spoken to many people about the intricate details of my life compared to theirs. Most people love to have stability. Love to know exactly what they need to do.
Most people don’t build companies though. Of the few people that try to build companies only a small fraction succeed. Of that small fraction of people an even smaller number build large multibillion-dollar corporations. Barely any of these successful people are able to sustain these companies. These scarce people who accomplish such a mission are the least bit normal.
I thrive off drama. I live off stress. It’s hard, it’s really hard, but I love it. I think I purposely make my life more difficult just for the thrill.
“Don’t you think you should figure out where you’re going to sleep tonight?” Sure, I probably should. But sleep isn’t important. I don’t have time for sleep. I’m trying to change the world here.
Entrepreneurship is looking someone into the eyes, smiling, and saying, “my life is great,” while everything around you is falling apart. Most of my friends and family have no idea what I go through. Heck, most “entrepreneurs” have no idea what I go through. I don’t burden them with the unnecessary details of my life. From the outside I’m seen as a person that knows what they’re doing and is accomplishing great things. But inside I struggle and am completely clueless about what to do next.
Some of the things I do may seem extraordinary, but that’s because I skip describing the smaller details. Like exactly how I accomplish these things. My life isn’t as glorious as it appears.
I’ve invested my entire life savings into what I do. And I’ve lost it. Everything. I don’t have a stable income. My income is well below poverty line. I fit the definition of a hobo perfectly.
Every day someone new calls me crazy. Well, you know what? I like crazy. Crazy is fun.
My whole life is dramatic. Dramatic work life. Dramatic personal life. I think I purposefully seek out dramatic friendships when my business life is boring. Drama keeps you on your toes. It keeps you in check. The world is full of problems, and problem solving is what I do best.
“You’re insane.” Probably. But just wait; in a couple more years, you’ll change your mind. Insane until proven genius. I’m right, even if the world doesn’t realise it just yet.
“Wow, you pack light.” Yes, yes I do. I have a small suitcase and a backpack. That’s it. Everything I own. Literally. I’m far from materialistic. The only material items I keep are a few sentimental letters and postcards from friends. The rest of my world is operated via technology.
I love the feeling of owning barely anything. Being free from the world. I can pack up and head to the other side of the world in a moment’s notice. Nothing can restrain me. I have everything I need.
Actually, the only things I require at the moment that I don’t have are a place to sleep and an iron. If I had these needs met then I could live quite comfortably.
There are enough people in this world who are stable. Every now and then the world needs to be shaken just to keep things moving. Stable people keep the world running, but I want to keep the world progressing.
Meh, stability is overrated.
